


There Is A Crack In Everything

by Lexigent



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Gen, M/M, Sexual Assault, Trans, Trans Character, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-01
Updated: 2011-04-01
Packaged: 2017-10-17 10:40:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/176003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lexigent/pseuds/Lexigent
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She's immune to your consultations, he's quite aware of what he's going through.</p>
            </blockquote>





	There Is A Crack In Everything

**Author's Note:**

> My entry for the thegameison-sh challenge on LJ for March 2011, the prompt being "Older/Younger". I went for "Younger" and a slightly odd angle at Sherlock growing up: as a transman. Basically, this is what happens when I take my gender dysphoria out on a fictional character.  
> Betaed by [gayalondiel](http://gayalondiel.livejournal.com), who is lovely.
> 
> IMPORTANT NOTE: If you are trying to bind your chest **please** don't do what Sherlock does in this fic. Binding with ace bandages can result in a bruised sternum, cracked ribs, and other unpleasant injuries. Buy a proper chest binder [like these ones](http://ftm.underworks.com/).

**13**  
It's 7 am, half an hour before the alarm goes off. She wakes up to a stinging pain, different from stomach ache. She’s in the bathroom, in search of painkillers, when she realises something warm and wet is sliding down the inside of her leg.  
When there's no more hot water left, she gets out of the shower. Goes through the motions like her mum explained to her. Looks at her red face in the mirror and puts on make-up.  
If this is what it’s going to be like every month she doesn’t know how she’s going to stand it.

 **16**  
The fancy dress motto is "upside down, inside out". It's too good an opportunity to waste. Her brother's dress shirt over a wrap of ace bandages, waistcoat and top hat to boot, she looks in the mirror. A young man looks back at her and something finally clicks.

 **18**  
He picks the name “Sherlock” so people won’t have to change too much from “Shirley”. Spiting the name’s origin, he first shaves his head, then dyes his hair black when it grows out again. His father thinks it’s just a phase. His mother doesn’t offer much of an opinion. His brother pretends he doesn’t know where half his clothes went over the last year.  
He starts university with a new haircut, a new name, and enough money to last through three years of undergraduate education without the need to come “home” for the summers.  
Well, if that’s what they want.

 **20**  
The needle pricks the skin of his thigh, penetrating into the muscle. The doctor pushes the piston down and two millilitres of masculinity make their way into his system.  
If this is what it’s going to be like every month he doesn’t think he will ever get enough of it.

 **21**  
The first summer he can go swimming topless. Never mind the scars. There is, in many senses, a huge weight off his chest.  
The summer he first kisses another boy, the two of them stretched out on a picnic blanket, the taste of swimming-pool vanilla ice-cream in their mouths, the scent of recently mown grass, the buzz of bees surrounding them.  
The summer he gets his BSc and has to find a proper job. His brother is a civil servant. He applies for lab assistant work. As long as he gets to use his brain it’s all fine.

 **23**  
He always knew taking martial arts classes would pay off. _At least for me it did_ , he thinks while he watches lines on monitors and the landscapes of creases in the hospital sheets.  
The police said their tormentors will be punished for hate crime.  
Whatever. Bodily harm is bodily harm, whatever is in people’s heads when they inflict it on others.  
Breaking up is the logical thing to do. Saving both of them time. No one’s going to stay with someone who nearly got them killed.

 **26**  
His old hobby, crime and puzzles, is now his freelance job. Getting paid for doing something he’s good at, how brilliant is that? Every woman in the police swoons over his “bone structure”.  
Sally Donovan is one of those women. Her accent grates on him and she’s an idiot - but then, so is everyone. She is a nice distraction after the case is finished though, and she knows her wine. It’s all good until they get out of the bar. Sally is quite forward when she’s had something to drink...  
Her hands are all over him, her tongue invades his mouth. Before he knows it she’s pushing a hand down the front of his trousers. He struggles, but he’s too clumsy after the wine.  
“Freak.” She flinches from him, leaving him in the cold.

 **31**  
His lips disengage from John’s, the two of them catching their breath after the force of the moment just gone, not quite knowing where to look, what to say, what to do.  
He clears his throat as he moves away.  
“John, there is something you should... something about me... you should... know.”  
John’s eyebrow twitches. “What a coincidence. There’s something about _me_ that _you_ should know.”  
“Go ahead then.”  
“I can tell testosterone patches from nicotine ones. You were saying?”  
If this is what it’s going to be like every time, he thinks he can get used to it.


End file.
